Prologue
Curtis raised the volume on his big-screen TV, slouched farther into
the sofa and sighed with much frustration. He hadn’t slept peacefully
in weeks. But he knew it was all because he’d been tossing and
turning, night after night, trying desperately to dismiss the voice he
kept hearing. It was a voice that demanded his return to the ministry.
For four long years, he’d been trying to appreciate the fifty thousand
dollar salary he earned as director of a delinquent teens facility, but it
just wasn’t working. It wasn’t working because during his pastoral
reign at Faith Missionary Baptist Church, he’d become completely accustomed
to earning three times more than that—not to mention the thousands of
dollars he received in love offerings. He could still remember how most of
the members had worshipped the ground he walked on and how loads of women in
the church had openly thrown themselves at his mercy. He’d tried to fight
them off as best he could, but it wasn’t long before he’d given
in to Adrienne Jackson, wife of one of the deacons. Then, there was Charlotte,
who was all of seventeen when’d he’d first begun seeing her and
only eighteen when she gave birth to his illegitimate son. But he regretted
nothing the way he regretted being caught on video tape, having sex with two
women he didn’t know. He’d met them at a convenience store and
taken them straight to a hotel, but what he hadn’t counted on was their
setting him up to be blackmailed. Monique, his disgruntled church secretary,
had masterminded the entire scheme, and Curtis had lost everything: his tax-free,
six figure income, 3000-plus congregation, custom-built dream house, and most
importantly, his wife and daughter to another man.
Curtis cringed at his latest thought, and then returned his attention
to BET’s
morning inspiration segment. A world-renowned TV evangelist danced across the
pulpit. Curtis had watched four others do the same thing every hour on the
hour, and wished he could trade places with any one of them. He watched one
massive audience after another rising to their feet, clapping, screaming, and
giving high praises to God and the minister who was speaking before them. He
watched so intensely that he was now drunk from all the excitement. These people
on television reminded him of his own flock, the one he used to have, and he
missed having them praise him in the same fashion. He missed the emotional
high he always felt whenever he stood before his loyal congregation.
He continued watching the program and envied the evangelist who wore
the same type of suit he’d once worn himself. It had been a long while since he
was able to buy anything that cost a thousand dollars, but that was finally
about to change. He’d recently been approached by the deacon board of
Truth Missionary Baptist Church. Truth was a church that had been founded by
approximately one thousand of his former members, right after he was ousted.
They were members who either hadn’t believed the rumors they’d
heard about him or who merely felt that he deserved to be forgiven the same
as anyone else. They’d approached him about being their leader back then,
too, but he’d declined when he decided that he no longer wanted to preach.
Now, though, their charter pastor had left and taken a position at a church
in D.C., and they needed to replace him.
For two weeks, Curtis had debated whether he should accept their more
than appealing offer, but in all honesty, he really didn’t know how he could
pass on it. They were offering him five thousand per week, his choice of any
luxury vehicle, and a very respectable housing allowance—something he
hadn’t been able to negotiate at his previous church, because they’d
wanted him to live in some modest church parsonage. They were even willing
to overlook the fact that he wasn’t married as long as he found a wife
within the first two years of his contract. But Curtis didn’t see a reason
to wait that long and was sure that Mariah Johnson, the woman he’d been
seeing for the past six months, would jump at the chance to marry him. As a
matter of fact, she’d be perfect, because unlike his ex-wife, Tanya,
she knew her place. She was meek, mild, a bit naïve and completely submissive.
She was beautiful but didn’t know it, and the fact that she honored God
and always tried to do the right thing wasn’t going to hurt.
Curtis thought about all the rewards he was going to reap and wondered
why he was still somewhat hesitant. But deep down, he knew what it was.
It was
his mother and the scripture she had quoted him over and over, whenever
he spoke about his desire to be filthy rich. She quoted Mark 8:36 “For what
shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul?”
But the more Curtis thought about it, the more he realized that Mark
8:36 really didn’t apply to him. It didn’t apply, because he had no desire
to gain the whole world.
He only wanted a very small part of it.
The part that rightfully belonged to him.
Chapter 1
A Year Later
Mariah Johnson Black smiled proudly as her husband neared the end of
his morning message. It just didn’t seem real, him actually being
senior pastor of Truth Missionary Baptist Church or that he’d chosen
her to be his wife. It didn’t seem real that he’d wanted
a woman who’d grown up in a rundown, two-bedroom apartment on the
west side of Chicago that also housed her single mother and five siblings.
But he always reminded her that he’d grown up with nothing himself.
Still, every now and then, she had to pinch herself, because she couldn’t
believe how happy she was. She couldn’t believe they’d only
been married six short months, and yet, Curtis had already bought her
a six thousand square foot house in Covington Park, the most expensive
Mercedes that Daimler manufactured, and best of all, she didn’t
have to work for anyone. All she had to do was be the best wife she could
be to Curtis and the best first lady to their congregation—two
things Curtis said his first wife, Tanya, wasn’t capable of. Mariah
almost felt sorry for Tanya, because she couldn’t imagine how painful
it must have been, once Tanya realized what she’d given up. Curtis
had told Mariah about Tanya’s affair with James, and Mariah couldn’t
understand how Tanya even considered being with another man. Especially
when she had someone as fine-looking and considerate as Curtis. Especially,
since he had only been with another woman—Adrienne—on two
separate occasions. Curtis had told Mariah how he’d apologized
and tried to explain everything to Tanya, but that she wasn’t willing
to forgive him. He’d tried to make Tanya see that this random act
of adultery had only occurred because Satan was trying to attack him
and their marriage. He’d told Tanya that the only reason God had
allowed it to happen, was because He wanted to see how strong their faith
was and how committed they were to each other as husband and wife. But
thankfully, all of that was behind them now, and while she wasn’t
happy about Curtis and Tanya’s marriage ending in divorce, she
knew it was the only reason she was now sitting on the second pew, dressed
in a royal blue suit, a matching hat, matching purse and matching three-inch
heels. Mariah also knew that Curtis would never have paid her the least
bit of attention if they hadn’t worked for the same agency. He’d
told her more than once that she was beautiful, but she knew it was only
because he felt obligated to do so and not because it was true. She’d
been a bit on the heavy side while growing up, and her schoolmates had
teased her daily. So, by the time she was a teenager, she’d lost
all confidence in herself and in the way she looked.
But in terms of her feelings for Curtis, she’d actually liked him
from the very beginning and had fallen in love with him right after their
first date. He was strong, compassionate, tall, dark and handsome, and
from that point, she started praying for their relationship to become
serious. She prayed that God would give her Curtis even if it meant she
had to go without something else in life, whatever that had to be. So,
when he asked her to marry him, she knew for sure that God answered all
prayers.
Mariah watched Curtis twirl his hands, demonstrating what he was saying.
“God will allow you to experience every twist and turn in the road until
you are as strong as He needs you to be...until you are strong enough to deal
with any trial or tribulation thrown your way,” Curtis said. “And
when it comes to success and prosperity, we have to take the same attitude. Sometimes
we find ourselves climbing higher and higher in our chosen careers and all of
a sudden a monkey wrench is thrown into the program. And of course, we as human
beings don’t understand it. We don’t understand why God would give
us such great success and then, for whatever reason, take us down a notch or
two. But the best way I can explain it is to tell you what I heard on the radio
last week. I was driving along, listening to 106.3, and it was then that I heard
T.D. Jakes make one of the most profound statements. He said, ‘a setback
is a set-up for a comeback’.
The congregation roared with Amens and a good number of people waved
their bulletins at Curtis, agreeing with what he was saying.
Curtis thrived on member participation and repeated in song what the
crowd wanted to hear him say again. “I said, a setback is a set-up for a comeback.”
“Oh, thank you, Jesus!” one woman stood and yelled out.
“Glory be to God!” another added with her hands lifted toward the
ceiling.
“Boy, you know you workin’ that Word on us today!” an older
gentleman offered.
The organist played a few notes, and Mariah stood with her hands on
both hips, waving her head from side to side with quick movements, giving
Curtis approval.
Then, a woman jumped from her seat, shouting her way across three people
sitting on the same row. This, of course, was all Curtis needed to see
in order to
switch into his deep southern preaching mode. He’d told Mariah that he
thought it was totally ridiculous to sing the ending of every sermon, but that
he’d learned during his days at Faith that his older members didn’t
feel like a pastor could preach if he didn’t do a little whooping and
singing with it. And since his older members were the major tithe and offering
contributors, he gave them what they wanted.
“
I saiddd, that Godd, will allow a set-back, which is a set-up, for a great
comeback. I hearddd the Bible say, we may endure for a night, but joyyy, I
saiddd, joyyy, will come in the morning,” Curtis sang and then broke
out of the pulpit, sobbing and running around the full length of the church,
hugging himself tightly. Mariah did the holy dance back and forth across the
front of the church and ten other people did the same thing up and down the
center aisle. The spirit was moving frantically throughout the entire church,
and continued for almost twenty minutes. Finally, everyone began settling down,
and Curtis stood up from where he’d been kneeling and walked back into
the pulpit.
“
Oh, I tell you, the Holy Spirit is in here today, church,” he announced
while wiping sweat from his forehead and neck with a white Ralph Lauren bath
towel. One of the women in the health unit had brought it over to him, and
Mariah was glad they’d remembered to purchase a stack of them. Curtis
had mentioned that the generic ones they’d been bringing him each Sunday
were much too rough, and that he would much rather have something made by one
of the top designers. That way, he wouldn’t have to worry about the quality
after they’d been washed a few times.
“
There is nothing like a visit from the Lord,” Curtis continued. “There
is nothing in this world that can compare to being in His presence.”
“
Amen,” the congregation spoke in agreement.
Mariah was filled with so much joy that she wanted to burst wide open.
She was sure that life could never be better than it was today.
Immediately after church, Curtis and Mariah had went over to Deacon
Taylor’s house to have dinner with him and his family. Deacon Taylor
was one of the deacons that Curtis had appointed just before he lost
his position at Faith. The deacon was very loyal to Curtis and dedicated
to the church, and he was the primary reason Curtis was now pastor at
Truth. He, along with hundreds of Curtis’s former members had requested
that Curtis be considered for the job.
Curtis and Mariah had spent three hours visiting with them and were
now walking through the kitchen doorway of their own home. Usually, they
had afternoon or evening services to attend on Sundays, and Mariah was
thankful that this was one of those rare instances when they didn’t.
“
Come here, you,” Curtis said grabbing Mariah playfully, yet passionately.
Mariah always felt like melting whenever he pulled her into his arms.
She felt so loved and so secure.
“
Have I told you how much I love you?” she asked, gazing at him.
“
No. Not today, anyway,” he said, smiling.
“
Well, I do, Curtis. I love you from the bottom of my soul, and all I
want is to make you happy.”
“
Baby, you do make me happy. You’ve done that since the first day
we started seeing each other.”
“
I really hope so, because I’ve heard so many women talking about
how easy it is for a man to become bored with his wife. And I don’t
ever want you to feel that way. I want you to tell me if there is something
wrong or if there is something I can do differently.”
“ Look, Mariah, I love you just the way you are. Believe me, I have no
complaints.”
Mariah sighed with relief.
Curtis removed her blazer and pecked her on the lips. Then, he kissed
her neck and her chest. Mariah moaned with every show of affection. Curtis
unbuttoned
her silk blouse, reached under it, and unsnapped her bra. He caressed her breasts
roughly, kissing her at the same time.
“Do you want it here or upstairs?” he teased.
“Upstairs,” she answered.
“No, I think we’d better take care of each other right here. Don’t
you?”
“No, sweetheart. Let’s just go upstairs, so we can be more comfortable,” she
said pulling him close and kissing him.”
“Okay, but first let me watch you undress the rest of the way.”
Mariah always felt fat and uneasy whenever Curtis asked her to do this,
but she went ahead and slipped off her blouse, bra and skirt. Then,
she
removed her nylon hose and panties and took a step toward him.
“No. Don’t move. Just let me look at you. Let me look at what God
created,” he said relaxing on the sofa and locking his hands behind his
head.
“Curtis,” she pleaded.
“ What? Can I help it if I want to see all of you from head to toe? Because
you really are beautiful. Your body is perfect.”
“
You know this embarrasses me,” she told him. Not to mention, she didn’t
think stripping like some night club dancer was something a pastor’s
wife should be doing, anyway.
“ But why does it embarrass you?”
“ Because it does?”
“ Well, you might as well get used to it, baby, because the main reason
God created Eve was so she could pleasure Adam. So, satisfying your husband is
part of
your duty.”
“
I thought Eve was created so that Adam wouldn’t be lonely, and so he
would have a companion?” Mariah asked.
“ Companionship, pleasure. Call it whatever you want, but it all means
basically the same thing.”
“
I guess,” she said, losing the mood because of all this conversation
and because he was staring at her.
“
Come here,” he said, reaching his hand out to her. “I hate to say
this, but I wasn’t truthful with you earlier.”
“
You weren’t truthful about what?” she asked and sat down next to
him. She felt nervous and wondered what he was referring to.
“
I wasn’t being truthful when I said that I love you just the way you
are, and that I have no complaints.”
Mariah was speechless, because the last thing she wanted was
for him to be dissatisfied with her.
“
You still haven’t given me oral sex, and that’s something I’m
used to getting. I know you said you didn’t feel comfortable doing it,
because it seemed lustful and dirty. But, the truth is, God doesn’t have
a problem with anything sexual, as long as it’s done between a man and
his wife.”
“ I know you keep saying that, but I need more time, Curtis.”
“
How much more time, baby, because I’ve already given you six months.
I mean, how much longer am I going to have to wait for something I’ve
never had to go without?”
“
I promise you I’m going to do it very soon.”
“
You don’t seem to have a problem when I do it for you,” he said
matter-of-factly.
“
But it’s not like I ask you to do it or like it’s required.”
“ But I can tell that you love it, and not once can I remember you turning
it down.”
Mariah didn’t respond, because she knew he was right. She never, ever
turned it down. But even though she enjoyed it, she still felt as though it
was somehow unnatural and morally wrong. Especially, since Curtis always turned
into a ravenous animal whenever they arrived at that point of their lovemaking.
He seemed to be obsessed with doing that to her, and it was almost as if he
enjoyed it more than she did. But regardless, she just didn’t
feel comfortable doing it for him.
“Curtis, honey, I know you really want this, but I don’t think it’s
right. I mean, why can’t we make love to each other without doing all of
that?”
“Because, I want more than just regular intercourse. I need so much more
than that. And at some point, you’re going to have to get over this squeamish
mentality,” he said turning his head away from her.
“I know, Curtis. And I promise you, I’m going to pray about this
every day until God gives me the strength to do it.”
“Pray?” he said wrinkling his forehead. “As far as I’m
concerned there’s nothing to pray about. Either you’re going to do
it or you’re not. But I’m telling you, if I don’t get it soon,
I can’t be responsible—”
“You can’t be responsible for what?” she interrupted
“Nothing. I didn’t mean anything at all. And hey, why don’t
we just forget about making love altogether,” he said and stood up.
“Okay, Curtis. I’ll do it.”
“ No, that’s okay, because I don’t want you doing something
just for the sake of doing it.”
“It won’t be like that. I promise. I mean, I’ve never done
anything like this before, but I’m willing to try.”
Curtis removed every stitch of clothing he was wearing and stepped
in front of her. “It won’t be as bad as you think.”
Mariah didn’t know how she should respond, so she didn’t.
“And, baby?” he said.
“Yes,” she answered, wondering how she was going to get through this.
“I want you to know that even though I already love you more than anything
in this world, I’ll love you even more after tonight. I’ll love you
in a way that you can’t even imagine. Our marriage will rise to a whole
new level, because we will have finally bonded completely.”
“I love you, too, Curtis,” Mariah said and realized that this truly
was important to her husband, and that his love for her was all that really mattered.
She decided that as his wife, it was her job to keep him happy.
It was her job to keep him faithful. |
Too
Much of a Good Thing